Show versus Tell

Excerpt from http://www.mariavsnyder.com/advice/showvstell.php

A common writing mistake is to tell the reader the events of a story or tell the reader how a character is feeling. Journalism is an acceptable method of telling, of presenting the facts, but fiction creates the illusion of being there in the story, seeing events happen without the writer telling you. 

For example:

Valek was angry. (Telling)

"Valek took a gray rock off his desk and hurled it toward me. Stunned, I froze as the stone whizzed past and exploded on the wall behind me." (Showing)

There are five techniques a fiction writer can use to avoid telling the reader:

1. Using Point of View (POV)
2. Using dialogue
3. Using all the senses
4. Using picture nouns and action verbs
5. Writing in scenes

USING POINT OF VIEW (POV):

"I averted my eyes from the flickering light as they led me down the main corridor of the dungeon. Thick, rancid air puffed in my face. My bare feet shuffled through puddles of unidentifiable muck."

USING DIALOGUE:

Dialogue is fast paced, it's easy and entertaining to read, it advances the plot and shows characterization, and it involves the reader. We all like to eavesdrop on conversations (if you're a writer it's practically a job requirement!). Dialogue is also a great way to "show" what is happening in your story.

USING ALL THE SENSES:

Don't just use visual imagery for description. In addition to colors, sizes, and shapes, use smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Smells can be very effective in provoking a response in your reader. 

USING PICTURE NOUNS AND ACTION VERBS:

Use specific, concrete nouns instead of vague ones like happiness, kindness, arrogance, and courage. Instead show characters being happy, kind, arrogant, and courageous. Also use the most vivid, active verbs, and avoid the passive or linking verbs. Limit modifiers. 

WRITING IN SCENES:

For any story length, scenes are the building blocks of the story. The word "scene" is a theater term. It describes action that occurs in a single place or setting. It can be as short as a paragraph or as long as a chapter. Focus defines a scene not length. Each scene in a novel has a specific focus or reason that the author chooses to show the reader what's going on at that time.
 

Here are some reasons to use the scene:
- to give information to further the plot of story
- to show conflict between characters by using dialogue and action
- to show a particular character by focusing on how he/she deals with a situation
- to create suspense.

The beginning of a scene should hook the reader and make him/her want to keep reading. The ending should create some type of suspense - emotional or physical so the reader will want to continue reading.

Essentials of Great Dialogue

1.    It is essential to the story

·      Advance the plot

·      Reveal character

·      Reflect theme

2.    It comes from one character to another character

·      Not a blatant attempt to give information

3.    It has conflict and tension

4.    It sounds just right for the character

·      Vocabulary

·      Favorite words and expressions (can change with time)

·      Regionalisms

·      Dialect and syntax

a.    Don’t recreate the sound of a thick accent. Just use a word or two.

b.    Syntax (order of words) is a good way to indicate non-native English speakers

5.    It isn’t real-life speech

·      Fictional dialogue looks like real speech, but it is purposeful. No hesitators, tangents, or small talk

ATTRIBUTIONS

·      An attribution tells the reader who is speaking

·      Almost always, the simple said and asked should be your default setting

·      It is almost invisible to the reader, and allows the focus to remain on the dialogue

·      In a two-person dialogue, you can skip attributions when it’s clear who is speaking. Put in an occasional attribution or action tag as a reminder.

ACTION TAGS

·      The action tag offers a character’s physical movements instead of said.

·      Example 1: “What shall we do for the next two hours?” Smith said nervously

·      Example 2: Smith scratched at his eyebrow. “What shall we do for the next two hours?”

Point of View (POV) and Tenses

First person POV

·      The viewpoint character is “I.” Nothing can be heard, seen, or experienced except through the senses of the character relating the story

Third person

·      Most commonly used for storytelling

·      Viewpoint character is “he” or “she” (or “it”)

Third person, single POV

·      Remain inside one character throughout the story (like first person POV)

·      Pros: Allow readers to identify with the character and drawn into the story without switching to another character

·      Cons: Limited to what can be shown “on stage.” Outside events must be told to the character or discovered some other way.

Third person, multiple POV

·      The writer puts the reader into the heads of more than one character through the story. E.g., romances (man and woman), thrillers (hero, villain)

·      Maintain a single POV in each scene; do not head-hop

Third person, omniscient POV

·      Viewpoint character is an omniscient narrator who tells the story about a cast of characters

·      Occasionally used in epics with many characters (e.g., Lord of the Rings)

TENSES:

·      Past = He went to the store

·      Present = He is going to the store

·      Future = He will go to the store

·      Most novels are written in past tense, though some use present tense

QUESTIONS

1.    Can you mix POVs in a single novel? (e.g., first and third, mixing omniscient with other POVs)

2.    What tense—past, present, or future—are you using to tell the story? Why have you selected this tense?

3.    What person are you using to tell the story? Why did you select this person?

4.    If you have chosen more than one person, does the mixture best serve the story? Why or why not?